Comic Relief for June 22, 2002

I couldn't believe my ears when Belle was talking about Chloe at the hospital. “Maybe she just got overheated because you know that gym was really hot and I was feeling a little weird too.” You were just horny, Belle.

Why was that idiot Philip talking to Craig like that? He blamed Craig for Chloe’s illness?! Cancer is not contagious, nor can someone CAUSE you to have it. Even if the latter were possible, why would Craig give Chloe leukemia? That's crazy. Then Philip had the nerve to threaten Craig's job if Craig didn't obey Philip's order! I wish Chloe had been around to hear all that. Philip would have been in for a MAJOR roast.

Why is Harold still on the show?! Nobody likes him. They can the princess, but they keep the queen. Who's been smoking crack on the Days writing staff?! I thought Harold was supposed to be a fashion god (goddess). Now he's a reporter for the Spectator?! Whatever.

When Philip told Chloe that he was flying in the best doctor in the country to treat her, she let him know that she didn't want his stupid doctor and that she trusts Craig and the doctors on staff at the hospital. She's just fine and doesn't need your stinkin' help, you psycho freak! Then she tells him to keep the tree necklace that he gave her safe because she's not allowed to wear it at the hospital. She probably just didn't want that ugly thing.

Lexie was acting like she was sane at the Carver house. But of course we all know better. She was trying to make a fool out of Abe, but it didn't work. Lexie told Abe he could call the psych ward on her. He did just that, and I would too. Lexie got a phone call from Rolf saying that Stefano has her back, just when Abe was about to cart her crazy butt back to Looney Land. After she hung up, she smiled in belief and told Abe it was the wrong number. See, she's still not right in the head.

Collin had the nerve to comdemn JACK for following Jennifer everywhere she goes! The pot calling the kettle black ehh?

Lexie's shrink was obviously pretty shady. He accepted a bribe from Stefano and let Lexie out of the crazy house. Nobody could pay me enough to release that looney. Maybe Dr. Do Wrong isn't aware that he just set the devil free. Maybe he just doesn't care because he's got his mind on his money and his money on his mind. Rollin' down the street-- I'm sorry, I got distracted for a moment.

Why is Bart typing up the converstations at the Pub when he could just record it all instead? Bart's stupid though, that might explain it.

Sami's right. She plays games with men, but Sami only ruins ONE man's life at a time, not a whole bunch at one time like Jennifer does. I loved it when Sami said, “You like to play the game, but I guess the problem is that you're afraid to score.” You couldn't be more right, Sami!

I liked the scene at the Pub when Nicole saw that demonic jack-in-the-box and said, “What are you lookin at, fool?” and Bart said, “Nothing!” HAHAHAHAHA!! And then Bart got turned on listening to Nicole’s and Colin’s smut talk. Heehee! Speaking of fools, doesn't Collin look like an idiot when he tries to be sexy? Nicole said she would give Collin some uh hmm if he was a good boy and he said,"What if I'm baaaaad?" He sounded like sheep. Somebody needs to put this guy to pasture, somewhere far away from Salem.

Brandon finally dumped the Frump! He couldn't have done it soon enough! Actually, Brandon tried to dump Jennifer and ended up being his own casualty. That's really sad. I'm over it now. Those two were a match made in Hell and I'm glad that their ridiculous relationship has come to an end.

Belle and Shawn almost walked out of the Pub without any of their stuff. Okay. I bet Belle was just crazy about those earrings Shawn bought for her. She loved them so much she forgot all about them when it was time to go.

Lexie wants to go ahead with the lawsuit against the hospital because she wants to prove that good ol' Steffy had NOTHING to do with the baby switch. She's stupid.

On Thursday, Jack kissed Sami in the mouth and got pimp slapped. Heehee.Then she asked him what the hell that was all about. Jennifer wanted to know too, but Jack told her it wasn't her business, and it wasn't. Sami and Jennifer started bickering and Jennifer told Sami that she and Brandon broke up. What great news! Well, great news for us, not for them. Anyway, Sami and Jennifer bickered some more and Sami told Jack that the kiss they shared wasn't that bad and that Jennifer didn't deserve him and left. That's Sami for ya'. Full of herself for no apparent reason.

Marlena said she couldn't go to Penthouse Grill with John because she didn't want to leave Caprice alone. Whatever! They always leave her by herself. One more night won't hurt. John said he’d just make the reservation for three and Marlena was cool with that. Well, isn't that a load of poo.

It was funny when Sami was at the police station trying to give Abe the skinny on Lexie and Brandon and Abe bellows,"MIND YOUR OWN D@MN BUSINESS AND QUIT GOSSIPING ABOUT MY WIFE!!!" All is quiet at the Salem PD and Abe yells, “GET BACK TO WORK!” He has problems.

John lied and told Roman not to come to the party because it might upset Marlena if Roman were there. John is really is the one that doesn’t want Roman there. Then Superfreak had the nerve to invite Abe right in front of Roman. Shame on you, John! Shame!

Roman showed up at Penthouse Grill with the whole police department saying that there was a grease fire in the kitchen and that the officers will escort everyone out even though there's nothing to worry about. Yeah, that makes sense. Couldn't Salem's finest come up with a better phony excuse to get everyone off the premises? Of course not.

Well, the phoenix has risen and it wasn't Lexie. It wasn't Stefano either. It was Tony Dimera. That's no surprise. The promos told us that Tony was the one that was coming back anyway. It would have been much more climactic if we didn't know which Dimera was coming back beforehand, since we already knew it wasn't Stefano.


	June 22, 2002: By the Salem Comic I couldn't believe my ears when Belle was talking about Chloe at the hospital. “Maybe she just got overheated because you know that gym was really hot and I was feeling a little weird too.” You were just horny, Belle. Why was that idiot Philip talking to Craig like that? He blamed Craig for Chloe’s illness?! Cancer is not contagious, nor can someone CAUSE you to have it. Even if the latter were possible, why would Craig give Chloe leukemia? That's crazy. Then Philip had the nerve to threaten Craig's job if Craig didn't obey Philip's order! I wish Chloe had been around to hear all that. Philip would have been in for a MAJOR roast. Why is Harold still on the show?! Nobody likes him. They can the princess, but they keep the queen. Who's been smoking crack on the Days writing staff?! I thought Harold was supposed to be a fashion god (goddess). Now he's a reporter for the Spectator?! Whatever. When Philip told Chloe that he was flying in the best doctor in the country to treat her, she let him know that she didn't want his stupid doctor and that she trusts Craig and the doctors on staff at the hospital. She's just fine and doesn't need your stinkin' help, you psycho freak! Then she tells him to keep the tree necklace that he gave her safe because she's not allowed to wear it at the hospital. She probably just didn't want that ugly thing. Lexie was acting like she was sane at the Carver house. But of course we all know better. She was trying to make a fool out of Abe, but it didn't work. Lexie told Abe he could call the psych ward on her. He did just that, and I would too. Lexie got a phone call from Rolf saying that Stefano has her back, just when Abe was about to cart her crazy butt back to Looney Land. After she hung up, she smiled in belief and told Abe it was the wrong number. See, she's still not right in the head. Collin had the nerve to comdemn JACK for following Jennifer everywhere she goes! The pot calling the kettle black ehh? Lexie's shrink was obviously pretty shady. He accepted a bribe from Stefano and let Lexie out of the crazy house. Nobody could pay me enough to release that looney. Maybe Dr. Do Wrong isn't aware that he just set the devil free. Maybe he just doesn't care because he's got his mind on his money and his money on his mind. Rollin' down the street-- I'm sorry, I got distracted for a moment. Why is Bart typing up the converstations at the Pub when he could just record it all instead? Bart's stupid though, that might explain it. Sami's right. She plays games with men, but Sami only ruins ONE man's life at a time, not a whole bunch at one time like Jennifer does. I loved it when Sami said, “You like to play the game, but I guess the problem is that you're afraid to score.” You couldn't be more right, Sami! I liked the scene at the Pub when Nicole saw that demonic jack-in-the-box and said, “What are you lookin at, fool?” and Bart said, “Nothing!” HAHAHAHAHA!! And then Bart got turned on listening to Nicole’s and Colin’s smut talk. Heehee! Speaking of fools, doesn't Collin look like an idiot when he tries to be sexy? Nicole said she would give Collin some uh hmm if he was a good boy and he said,"What if I'm baaaaad?" He sounded like sheep. Somebody needs to put this guy to pasture, somewhere far away from Salem. Brandon finally dumped the Frump! He couldn't have done it soon enough! Actually, Brandon tried to dump Jennifer and ended up being his own casualty. That's really sad. I'm over it now. Those two were a match made in Hell and I'm glad that their ridiculous relationship has come to an end. Belle and Shawn almost walked out of the Pub without any of their stuff. Okay. I bet Belle was just crazy about those earrings Shawn bought for her. She loved them so much she forgot all about them when it was time to go. Lexie wants to go ahead with the lawsuit against the hospital because she wants to prove that good ol' Steffy had NOTHING to do with the baby switch. She's stupid. On Thursday, Jack kissed Sami in the mouth and got pimp slapped. Heehee.Then she asked him what the hell that was all about. Jennifer wanted to know too, but Jack told her it wasn't her business, and it wasn't. Sami and Jennifer started bickering and Jennifer told Sami that she and Brandon broke up. What great news! Well, great news for us, not for them. Anyway, Sami and Jennifer bickered some more and Sami told Jack that the kiss they shared wasn't that bad and that Jennifer didn't deserve him and left. That's Sami for ya'. Full of herself for no apparent reason. Marlena said she couldn't go to Penthouse Grill with John because she didn't want to leave Caprice alone. Whatever! They always leave her by herself. One more night won't hurt. John said he’d just make the reservation for three and Marlena was cool with that. Well, isn't that a load of poo. It was funny when Sami was at the police station trying to give Abe the skinny on Lexie and Brandon and Abe bellows,"MIND YOUR OWN D@MN BUSINESS AND QUIT GOSSIPING ABOUT MY WIFE!!!" All is quiet at the Salem PD and Abe yells, “GET BACK TO WORK!” He has problems. John lied and told Roman not to come to the party because it might upset Marlena if Roman were there. John is really is the one that doesn’t want Roman there. Then Superfreak had the nerve to invite Abe right in front of Roman. Shame on you, John! Shame! Roman showed up at Penthouse Grill with the whole police department saying that there was a grease fire in the kitchen and that the officers will escort everyone out even though there's nothing to worry about. Yeah, that makes sense. Couldn't Salem's finest come up with a better phony excuse to get everyone off the premises? Of course not. Well, the phoenix has risen and it wasn't Lexie. It wasn't Stefano either. It was Tony Dimera. That's no surprise. The promos told us that Tony was the one that was coming back anyway. It would have been much more climactic if we didn't know which Dimera was coming back beforehand, since we already knew it wasn't Stefano.