Comic Relief for June 18, 2002

June 18, 2002: By the Salem Comic

I got so tired of Caroline and that jack-in-the-box. It plays "Pop Goes the Weasel". I kept hoping somebody would pop HER. She played with that thing almost obsessively. She claims that the jack-in-the-box is Zack's favorite toy and that he would probably miss it if she didn't send it over to Bo and Hope's. Caroline seemed to be enjoying it a lot more than Zack was.

John, where is your brain? I think it went to the same place that Shawn's brain went when he believed Jan's lies about Belle. Marlena was possessed by the devil and terrorized Salem, Hope was brainwashed to think she was a thieving whore who was princess of a fake kingdom, John's mind was controlled by a mad man for a long time, yet he refuses to believe that unnatural things are taking place in Brady's loft?! Then later he reads a newspaper article about Gemini Meteor Showers and merc's out. "I am the only one who can save the Earth." Okay.

Nicole's brother caught her and Collin in the hot tub about to do it! That's gotta be embarrassing. Why were she and Collin trying to have sex out there anyway? Those hot tubs were so close together. There was only a row trees seperating them. If I had been Nicole, as soon as I heard people laughing from the other side of the row of trees, I would have been back in my hotel room with the quickness. She was in heat though. She didn't care. She couldn't wait any longer to have COLLIN?! At least Hot Mama was smart enough to figure out that she had been set up and that Collin was only using her to make Jennifer jealous.

I howled when Shawn told Belle that he didn't have sex with Jan and that Paul was Jan's baby daddy. Belle said, "Jan had SEX with HIM?!" Then Shawn told Belle that Jan got raped, and that he only lied to protect Jan and to keep her from aborting her baby. However, he failed to mention that Jan got Gonorrhea. Heehee.

I was wrong about Jack and Sami eventually ending up at Green Mountain Lodge anyway. I'm glad they didn't. The Full Moon B&B is far more interesting. The place is a little creepy though. The people that own that place are crazier than Lexie. What kind of name is the "Full Moon" for a romantic getaway? As soon as Iris and whoever started acting weird, I would have turned my ass and gotten out of there with lightning speed. The blood in that book that Sami was reading was a pleasing shade of ORANGE. I thought it was funny when Jack and Sami were staring at each other and their spirits or whatever came out of their bodies and kissed. Shortly afterwards, they snapped out of it and were totally freaked out. That was weird though.Why did Jennifer just stand there looking stupid when Collin shot Jack? Maybe she was in shock. She looked a little confused to me. I don't know what was going on with her, but I would have been like AGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

I thought Nicole was either stupid or nympho when she was in bed waiting for Collin. She would have to be nympho to want Collin. Anyway, to my surprise, she slapped the hell out of him. HEE! Then she iced his nuts. How chilling! Then Brandon punched him out. That just wasn't Collin's day. He deserved everything he got though.

Brandon passed up sex to go save Lexie. WHY?! Oh yeah, I forgot that he was about to have sex with Jennifer. I can see why he avoided that. Having sex with Jennifer would probably be as exhilirating as having sex with a piece of plywood. With splinters in it.

"I am not crazy!" Yes you are, Lexie. You're in denial. She's says that constantly. "I am not crazy," and "I want my baby." Anybody who thinks they're a phoenix rising from the ashes and that they can catch a MOVING sailboat that's a pretty good distance from the docks by SWIMMING TO IT is not playing with a full deck. Lexie needs to comb her hair. She may be crazy, but there is no excuse for looking like THAT.

What kind of dancing were they doing at the last Last Blast? Some guy was turning flips and doing all this acrobatic stuff. That part could have been edited out. As usual, several people were dancing like spastic freaks throughout the entire night, looking completely foolish. Susan and Kevin were doing some kind back and forth mess. Nobody dances like that at a high school dance. Nobody should dance like that anywhere else either.

The kids at Salem High must lead very boring lives. They were all excited about a BALLOON SHOWER. They were grabbing at them and gawking like they had never seen balloons before. "OOOH! I want one. I'm gonna get my mommy to get me one of these. OOH WEE!" Well, nobody said that.

I'm glad Kevin and Mimi stopped Jason and Cynthia from bursting those punch-filled balloons on Belle, Shawn, Philip, and Chloe. Kevin and Mimi pushed Jason and Cynthia into each other and the balloons bursted on them. AH-HA!!! Jason didn't look too suave with all that grape punch on his WHITE tuxedo coat. It was nice of Chloe to pull some strings so that Mimi could dance the last last dance.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually liked the last Last Blast! No chicken goop. No Jan. No naked Chloe. No Jan looking at Naked Chloe. However, Chloe was yet again the focal point of this Last Blast like she was at all the others. Thank Goodness this last Last Blast didn't last last for two weeks like the ones before it.


	June 18, 2002: By the Salem Comic I got so tired of Caroline and that jack-in-the-box. It plays "Pop Goes the Weasel". I kept hoping somebody would pop HER. She played with that thing almost obsessively. She claims that the jack-in-the-box is Zack's favorite toy and that he would probably miss it if she didn't send it over to Bo and Hope's. Caroline seemed to be enjoying it a lot more than Zack was. John, where is your brain? I think it went to the same place that Shawn's brain went when he believed Jan's lies about Belle. Marlena was possessed by the devil and terrorized Salem, Hope was brainwashed to think she was a thieving whore who was princess of a fake kingdom, John's mind was controlled by a mad man for a long time, yet he refuses to believe that unnatural things are taking place in Brady's loft?! Then later he reads a newspaper article about Gemini Meteor Showers and merc's out. "I am the only one who can save the Earth." Okay. Nicole's brother caught her and Collin in the hot tub about to do it! That's gotta be embarrassing. Why were she and Collin trying to have sex out there anyway? Those hot tubs were so close together. There was only a row trees seperating them. If I had been Nicole, as soon as I heard people laughing from the other side of the row of trees, I would have been back in my hotel room with the quickness. She was in heat though. She didn't care. She couldn't wait any longer to have COLLIN?! At least Hot Mama was smart enough to figure out that she had been set up and that Collin was only using her to make Jennifer jealous. I howled when Shawn told Belle that he didn't have sex with Jan and that Paul was Jan's baby daddy. Belle said, "Jan had SEX with HIM?!" Then Shawn told Belle that Jan got raped, and that he only lied to protect Jan and to keep her from aborting her baby. However, he failed to mention that Jan got Gonorrhea. Heehee. I was wrong about Jack and Sami eventually ending up at Green Mountain Lodge anyway. I'm glad they didn't. The Full Moon B&B is far more interesting. The place is a little creepy though. The people that own that place are crazier than Lexie. What kind of name is the "Full Moon" for a romantic getaway? As soon as Iris and whoever started acting weird, I would have turned my ass and gotten out of there with lightning speed. The blood in that book that Sami was reading was a pleasing shade of ORANGE. I thought it was funny when Jack and Sami were staring at each other and their spirits or whatever came out of their bodies and kissed. Shortly afterwards, they snapped out of it and were totally freaked out. That was weird though.Why did Jennifer just stand there looking stupid when Collin shot Jack? Maybe she was in shock. She looked a little confused to me. I don't know what was going on with her, but I would have been like AGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I thought Nicole was either stupid or nympho when she was in bed waiting for Collin. She would have to be nympho to want Collin. Anyway, to my surprise, she slapped the hell out of him. HEE! Then she iced his nuts. How chilling! Then Brandon punched him out. That just wasn't Collin's day. He deserved everything he got though. Brandon passed up sex to go save Lexie. WHY?! Oh yeah, I forgot that he was about to have sex with Jennifer. I can see why he avoided that. Having sex with Jennifer would probably be as exhilirating as having sex with a piece of plywood. With splinters in it. "I am not crazy!" Yes you are, Lexie. You're in denial. She's says that constantly. "I am not crazy," and "I want my baby." Anybody who thinks they're a phoenix rising from the ashes and that they can catch a MOVING sailboat that's a pretty good distance from the docks by SWIMMING TO IT is not playing with a full deck. Lexie needs to comb her hair. She may be crazy, but there is no excuse for looking like THAT. What kind of dancing were they doing at the last Last Blast? Some guy was turning flips and doing all this acrobatic stuff. That part could have been edited out. As usual, several people were dancing like spastic freaks throughout the entire night, looking completely foolish. Susan and Kevin were doing some kind back and forth mess. Nobody dances like that at a high school dance. Nobody should dance like that anywhere else either. The kids at Salem High must lead very boring lives. They were all excited about a BALLOON SHOWER. They were grabbing at them and gawking like they had never seen balloons before. "OOOH! I want one. I'm gonna get my mommy to get me one of these. OOH WEE!" Well, nobody said that. I'm glad Kevin and Mimi stopped Jason and Cynthia from bursting those punch-filled balloons on Belle, Shawn, Philip, and Chloe. Kevin and Mimi pushed Jason and Cynthia into each other and the balloons bursted on them. AH-HA!!! Jason didn't look too suave with all that grape punch on his WHITE tuxedo coat. It was nice of Chloe to pull some strings so that Mimi could dance the last last dance. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually liked the last Last Blast! No chicken goop. No Jan. No naked Chloe. No Jan looking at Naked Chloe. However, Chloe was yet again the focal point of this Last Blast like she was at all the others. Thank Goodness this last Last Blast didn't last last for two weeks like the ones before it.