Comic Relief for June 01, 2002

June 01, 2002: By the Salem Comic

Why do people continue to go to Green Mountain Lodge? Every time somebody goes there, something really bad happens. Abe and Lexie met Glen and Barb there. Austin saw Mike and Carrie kissing through the window there, then later they had an affair. You'd think somebody would notice a trend. Then again we're talking about Days.

I laughed out loud when Brady was at Java Café asking the present if Chloe would like it (the present), and that old guy saw him and asked his wife if “that kid” was on something.

Jan and Cynthia actually think they can get Shawn and Philip respectively to “make love to them”. HA! Nobody wants to make love to you, Jan. And as for you Cynthia, anybody who lays up with you might as well jump into an open grave because there's no telling who you've been with or what kind of hoochie disease YOU might have. Why don't you go put some clothes on and stop coming on to Philip? That's sexual harassment, and he DOESN'T have to take it!

SOOOO-EEE!!! Craig is hysterical. Sissy Mae Plunkett. Now you don't get much countrier than that. I know Operafreak felt stupid when she roasted Craig and Nancy for ruining her chances of getting into Julliard and then it turned out that they are reason she has a chance of auditioning. I'm glad that Nancy shut her up while she was ahead.

I hate Jan's mom. She did not have to talk to Hope the way she did. "A woman who doesn't even know who the father of her own child is telling ME how to raise MY daughter." Somebody should drop a house on her.

Lexie sank deeper into insanity when she threatened to sue the hospital. I'm glad Brandon and Craig roasted her for that. What was she thinking?! That would lead to an investigation of the Baby Switch and Lexie would therefore eventually be implicated and she would be screwed. However, Brandon also said that if Lexie sued the hospital, he would be called as a witness and he wouldn't lie. If he told the truth about everything he knows, then he would be in deep doo doo too. He is an accessory because he helped Lexie keep the Baby Switch a secret and he helped her rig JT's DNA test so nobody would know that Lexie had Hope's baby.

Shawn had the nerve to tell Belle that HE wanted the truth. WHAT THE %@#$!?! As I recall, Shawn, YOU are the one who's been lying FOR ALMOST A YEAR NOW. AND YOU'RE STILL LYING! YOU & JAN! Why do you treat Belle this way when you claim to LOVE her?! You should NEVER doubt that you can trust her, ESPECIALLY because of something JAN told you. That's why you got roasted. I HATE YOU, YOU STUPID B@$%*?#! YOU BETTER BE GLAD YOU'RE NOT REAL, OTHERWISE I'D BREAK MY FOOT OFF IN YOUR MOTHERF%#$@ING @$$!!!... SON-OF-A (BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP)!!!

PLEASE STAND BY

Bo and Hope asked Abe to be Zack's godfather. That was a really kind gesture. I wonder why they didn't ask Lexie to be Zack's godmother? Oh yeah, because she's a crazy b*tch!

I enjoyed. Lucas and Brady on Wednesday. When Sami asked Lucas why he was taking Will away for the weekend if he was going to take him away for the summer anyway, he said, "Because I feel like it!" After Sami said bye to Will and left, Lucas told Brady that he thought Sami was in a bad mood, and said it just breaks his heart and Brady pretended to wipe a tear from his eye. HAHAHA!!!

Jan's lie is slowly being exposed. Mimi did some good detective work to find out that Jan changed clothes after Belle left. Maybe it's just me, but if I fell and bust my @$$ twice in one day, I would probably stop raising hell. The thing I hate most about Jan is that she doesn't even care about Shawn. She just thinks she's in love with him because she can manipulate him and make a fool out of him. Everybody else is on to her. I hope she falls and busts her @$$ again.

I thought it was strange yet very appropriate that Brady gave Chloe a stuffed pig. I laughed out loud when he said that the pig sounds just like Chloe. It would have been even more appropriate if he had bought her a stuffed dog.

Isn't Jennifer lucky? She has not only one but TWO men stalking her (eyes rolling). Everywhere she goes she can be sure that Jack and Collin are somewhere lurking, watching her and eavesdropping on her conversations, trying to figure out where she's going and who she's going to be there with. Do they not know how scary that is? Somebody needs to tell these dudes that stalking is NOT sexy.

Lexie looked TOE UP on Thursday. Actually, she's been looking rough all week, but I've never seen her look as bad as she did on Thursday. She staggered into the living room looking like she was fresh off a crack binge.

Shawn had no business blowing up at Bo and Hope the way he did. Bo and Hope did NOT have to discuss their attempt to get Jan moved back in with her mother with him because it is THEIR house. They pay the bills. He doesn't. Shawn should be more understanding to the fact that Bo and Hope would like some time to bond with Zack without Jan around. Things are complicated enough for the Bradys without her. If he had any sense, he would want her gone too, because she is ruining his life. He has made so many STUPID decisions as a result of her influence.

Collin told Brandon that Nicole wasn't the type of woman to get involved with a married man when they both saw her at the bar with John at the Brady Pub. Brandon and I both gave him a look of disbelief after he said that. He obviously does NOT know Nicole that well.

Shawn has finally has accepted the fact that Zack is his brother and that he has been an ass to his family lately. Shawn's epiphany was LONG overdue.

The Salem PD is doing its best work at patrolling the church. That cop just LEFT THE CHURCH WHILE ON DUTY to show HoboBart to a mission. Even though that stupid cop left, there should have been more than one cop on patrol. Somebody should have seen Lexie coming into the church. Blech.

We FINALLY know who Hope's baby daddy is and the revelation thereof was in no way suspenseful. We already knew Bo was the father. This Who's the Daddy crap was dragged out WAY too long. I am SO glad it's over.


	June 01, 2002: By the Salem Comic Why do people continue to go to Green Mountain Lodge? Every time somebody goes there, something really bad happens. Abe and Lexie met Glen and Barb there. Austin saw Mike and Carrie kissing through the window there, then later they had an affair. You'd think somebody would notice a trend. Then again we're talking about Days. I laughed out loud when Brady was at Java Café asking the present if Chloe would like it (the present), and that old guy saw him and asked his wife if “that kid” was on something. Jan and Cynthia actually think they can get Shawn and Philip respectively to “make love to them”. HA! Nobody wants to make love to you, Jan. And as for you Cynthia, anybody who lays up with you might as well jump into an open grave because there's no telling who you've been with or what kind of hoochie disease YOU might have. Why don't you go put some clothes on and stop coming on to Philip? That's sexual harassment, and he DOESN'T have to take it! SOOOO-EEE!!! Craig is hysterical. Sissy Mae Plunkett. Now you don't get much countrier than that. I know Operafreak felt stupid when she roasted Craig and Nancy for ruining her chances of getting into Julliard and then it turned out that they are reason she has a chance of auditioning. I'm glad that Nancy shut her up while she was ahead. I hate Jan's mom. She did not have to talk to Hope the way she did. "A woman who doesn't even know who the father of her own child is telling ME how to raise MY daughter." Somebody should drop a house on her. Lexie sank deeper into insanity when she threatened to sue the hospital. I'm glad Brandon and Craig roasted her for that. What was she thinking?! That would lead to an investigation of the Baby Switch and Lexie would therefore eventually be implicated and she would be screwed. However, Brandon also said that if Lexie sued the hospital, he would be called as a witness and he wouldn't lie. If he told the truth about everything he knows, then he would be in deep doo doo too. He is an accessory because he helped Lexie keep the Baby Switch a secret and he helped her rig JT's DNA test so nobody would know that Lexie had Hope's baby. Shawn had the nerve to tell Belle that HE wanted the truth. WHAT THE %@#$!?! As I recall, Shawn, YOU are the one who's been lying FOR ALMOST A YEAR NOW. AND YOU'RE STILL LYING! YOU & JAN! Why do you treat Belle this way when you claim to LOVE her?! You should NEVER doubt that you can trust her, ESPECIALLY because of something JAN told you. That's why you got roasted. I HATE YOU, YOU STUPID B@$%?#! YOU BETTER BE GLAD YOU'RE NOT REAL, OTHERWISE I'D BREAK MY FOOT OFF IN YOUR MOTHERF%#$@ING @$$!!!... SON-OF-A (BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP)!!! PLEASE STAND BY* Bo and Hope asked Abe to be Zack's godfather. That was a really kind gesture. I wonder why they didn't ask Lexie to be Zack's godmother? Oh yeah, because she's a crazy b*tch! I enjoyed. Lucas and Brady on Wednesday. When Sami asked Lucas why he was taking Will away for the weekend if he was going to take him away for the summer anyway, he said, "Because I feel like it!" After Sami said bye to Will and left, Lucas told Brady that he thought Sami was in a bad mood, and said it just breaks his heart and Brady pretended to wipe a tear from his eye. HAHAHA!!! Jan's lie is slowly being exposed. Mimi did some good detective work to find out that Jan changed clothes after Belle left. Maybe it's just me, but if I fell and bust my @$$ twice in one day, I would probably stop raising hell. The thing I hate most about Jan is that she doesn't even care about Shawn. She just thinks she's in love with him because she can manipulate him and make a fool out of him. Everybody else is on to her. I hope she falls and busts her @$$ again. I thought it was strange yet very appropriate that Brady gave Chloe a stuffed pig. I laughed out loud when he said that the pig sounds just like Chloe. It would have been even more appropriate if he had bought her a stuffed dog. Isn't Jennifer lucky? She has not only one but TWO men stalking her (eyes rolling). Everywhere she goes she can be sure that Jack and Collin are somewhere lurking, watching her and eavesdropping on her conversations, trying to figure out where she's going and who she's going to be there with. Do they not know how scary that is? Somebody needs to tell these dudes that stalking is NOT sexy. Lexie looked TOE UP on Thursday. Actually, she's been looking rough all week, but I've never seen her look as bad as she did on Thursday. She staggered into the living room looking like she was fresh off a crack binge. Shawn had no business blowing up at Bo and Hope the way he did. Bo and Hope did NOT have to discuss their attempt to get Jan moved back in with her mother with him because it is THEIR house. They pay the bills. He doesn't. Shawn should be more understanding to the fact that Bo and Hope would like some time to bond with Zack without Jan around. Things are complicated enough for the Bradys without her. If he had any sense, he would want her gone too, because she is ruining his life. He has made so many STUPID decisions as a result of her influence. Collin told Brandon that Nicole wasn't the type of woman to get involved with a married man when they both saw her at the bar with John at the Brady Pub. Brandon and I both gave him a look of disbelief after he said that. He obviously does NOT know Nicole that well. Shawn has finally has accepted the fact that Zack is his brother and that he has been an ass to his family lately. Shawn's epiphany was LONG overdue. The Salem PD is doing its best work at patrolling the church. That cop just LEFT THE CHURCH WHILE ON DUTY to show HoboBart to a mission. Even though that stupid cop left, there should have been more than one cop on patrol. Somebody should have seen Lexie coming into the church. Blech. We FINALLY know who Hope's baby daddy is and the revelation thereof was in no way suspenseful. We already knew Bo was the father. This Who's the Daddy crap was dragged out WAY too long. I am SO glad it's over.