Comic Relief for July 23, 2002

July 23, 2002: by the Salem Comic

Belle and Shawn and these "naked" aliens are starting to remind me of Jan's obsession with Naked Naked Naked Chloe. It seems like everything they say reverts back to naked aliens. They even get TURNED ON by talking about naked aliens.

Belle: "Shawn, Philip is mad at me because I didn't tell him that Brady wants Chloe's booty."

Shawn: "Really? How 'bout them naked aliens?"

Belle: "Oh Shawn, I hope we see the naked aliens again. I want the naked aliens from outer space to be real so bad!"

Shawn: "They are real naked aliens from outer space and we have to keep it a secret so the government won't find the naked aliens and do experiments on the naked aliens."

Belle: "So, tell me Shawn. What's it like to kiss a naked alien?"

Shawn: "It was great to kiss a naked alien. Her funky booze breath was such a turn on. I don't think she's an alien though. I think she's from France."

Belle: "Ooh, Shawn! Naked aliens from France! You know just how to push my buttons! Shawn Brady, take me in your arms and kiss me like you kissed that naked alien, you hunka hunka naked alien kissing love!"

Belle and Shawn: Smooch, smooch. Smack, smack.

The Salem Comic: Gag, gag. "Must find my way to toilet so I can puke due to stupid teens and "naked" aliens."

People in Salem cannot seem to mind their own business. Sami was at the pub telling Brandon that it would be a bad idea for him to leave the hospital to work at the free clinic with Lexie. When Philip was talking to Billie outside the pub, Bo asked Philip who he was talking to. What does who Philip is talking to have to do with Bo? John is right to tell Sami to stay away from Tony, but Sami is an adult and has proven that she can survive any trouble she manages to get herself into.

I liked the scene of Nancy and Cassie. Nancy went downstairs to find them standing in the living room. Nancy threw up her hands and screamed and the naked girl alien screamed too. Then Craig went downstairs to find Nancy sprawled out on the floor. He asked Nancy what had happened and she screamed, "STREAKERS!" HAHA!

I'm surprised that Belle hasn't blabbed that she and Shawn still think the aliens are real yet. She tells everything else she's not supposed to tell. She told Mimi and Philip about Jan getting raped. She told Shawn that Brady wants Chloe's booty. Probably the only reason she didn't tell Philip about Brady wanting Chloe's booty is because she was too busy chasing down naked aliens.

Why would Lexie wanna go to the hospital and the Brady Pub anyway? Lexie was out of line to call Sami a stalker, even though Sami is following them. Sami had every right to be at the pub considering that her grandparents own it. It's weird how people in Salem aren't scared when they know they're being stalked, but in real life people would probably be totally freaked out if they knew they were being followed.

I'm tired of these arguments between Brandon and Sami. At the Brady Pub, he told her to mind her own business and that he’s decided that whatever she says is wrong must be the right thing to do. This is getting ridiculous. Why don't these to just go ahead and start dating?

I've been thinking about this for some time and have neglected to post about it, but why is everybody stupid enough to believe that Stefano is actually dead? Think about how many times they've been tricked into thinking he had kicked the bucket. When Hope got the invitation to Stefano's memorial service, she said, "Stefano is dead and can never hurt us again." She's stupid.

Hope said she didn't want whatever island Stefano had left to her or something to that effect. If he did give you an island, Hope, you should go live there and never come back. Sami hopes Stefano left them a bunch of money. Can you believe that? It's not like Shawn and Caroline are obligated to give her any. Salemites are total idiots. Why do these people automatically assume that, Stefano Dimera, the man that has loathed them for ages, has left them some wonderful material possession? Stefano wouldn't leave them money or anything like that. Whatever he leaves them, it's probably only going to make their lives worse.

Craig could have given Brenda a raise. She told them about the security tapes of Zack and JT's birth being found. His response was "How about a bouquet of flowers instead?" Brenda deserves a raise with all the crap she has to put up with at that stupid hospital.

I'm glad Jennifer didn't fall for Collin's crap. "You're the only woman for me and you're the reason I came back to Salem. Blah blah blah..." MY @$$!

Philip told Shawn that Brady can love Chloe all he wants, she is HIS and Brady’s not getting her. Well, Philip. I think that's what's happening to you, buddy boy. You love Chloe to pieces and you still won't get her back. HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Why did Roman call Kate? How stupid was that. "Billie, I'm going to tell your mommy on you." Yeah, Billie can't be a cop unless her mommy says it's okay. Why did Bo have a say in whether or not Billie could be a cop in his precinct? Since when is it his business what she does?

I loved that tabloid headline. PSYCHO MOM SUES HOSPITAL OVER BABY SWITCH! Heehee! My thoughts exactly.

Philip thinks he and Chloe are one person. I told you he was crazy. He said her sickness is affecting him too. Philip always finds away to make everything about himself. Chloe's sickness has nothing to do with you, you psycho idiot. You need therapy.

Marlena was the one that told John he needed to get over his obsession with Tony because it's unhealthy. Now she says that his acceptance of Tony makes her uncomfortable. This is one of those damned if you do, damned if you don't situations. Marlena needs to make up her mind. BTW, If John is pretending to forgive Tony, then why isn't he pretending to forgive Lexie too?

Maybe it is a good idea that Billie is on the force now. The Salem PD needs all the help it can get. Think about it. Are Roman, Bo, and Abe really getting anything done? Why did Billie salute Roman? That was stupid. Billie looks ridiculous in that oversized hat. I'm not going to comment on those lips.


	July 23, 2002: by the Salem Comic Belle and Shawn and these "naked" aliens are starting to remind me of Jan's obsession with Naked Naked Naked Chloe. It seems like everything they say reverts back to naked aliens. They even get TURNED ON by talking about naked aliens. Belle: "Shawn, Philip is mad at me because I didn't tell him that Brady wants Chloe's booty." Shawn: "Really? How 'bout them naked aliens?" Belle: "Oh Shawn, I hope we see the naked aliens again. I want the naked aliens from outer space to be real so bad!" Shawn: "They are real naked aliens from outer space and we have to keep it a secret so the government won't find the naked aliens and do experiments on the naked aliens." Belle: "So, tell me Shawn. What's it like to kiss a naked alien?" Shawn: "It was great to kiss a naked alien. Her funky booze breath was such a turn on. I don't think she's an alien though. I think she's from France." Belle: "Ooh, Shawn! Naked aliens from France! You know just how to push my buttons! Shawn Brady, take me in your arms and kiss me like you kissed that naked alien, you hunka hunka naked alien kissing love!" Belle and Shawn: Smooch, smooch. Smack, smack. The Salem Comic: Gag, gag. "Must find my way to toilet so I can puke due to stupid teens and "naked" aliens." People in Salem cannot seem to mind their own business. Sami was at the pub telling Brandon that it would be a bad idea for him to leave the hospital to work at the free clinic with Lexie. When Philip was talking to Billie outside the pub, Bo asked Philip who he was talking to. What does who Philip is talking to have to do with Bo? John is right to tell Sami to stay away from Tony, but Sami is an adult and has proven that she can survive any trouble she manages to get herself into. I liked the scene of Nancy and Cassie. Nancy went downstairs to find them standing in the living room. Nancy threw up her hands and screamed and the naked girl alien screamed too. Then Craig went downstairs to find Nancy sprawled out on the floor. He asked Nancy what had happened and she screamed, "STREAKERS!" HAHA! I'm surprised that Belle hasn't blabbed that she and Shawn still think the aliens are real yet. She tells everything else she's not supposed to tell. She told Mimi and Philip about Jan getting raped. She told Shawn that Brady wants Chloe's booty. Probably the only reason she didn't tell Philip about Brady wanting Chloe's booty is because she was too busy chasing down naked aliens. Why would Lexie wanna go to the hospital and the Brady Pub anyway? Lexie was out of line to call Sami a stalker, even though Sami is following them. Sami had every right to be at the pub considering that her grandparents own it. It's weird how people in Salem aren't scared when they know they're being stalked, but in real life people would probably be totally freaked out if they knew they were being followed. I'm tired of these arguments between Brandon and Sami. At the Brady Pub, he told her to mind her own business and that he’s decided that whatever she says is wrong must be the right thing to do. This is getting ridiculous. Why don't these to just go ahead and start dating? I've been thinking about this for some time and have neglected to post about it, but why is everybody stupid enough to believe that Stefano is actually dead? Think about how many times they've been tricked into thinking he had kicked the bucket. When Hope got the invitation to Stefano's memorial service, she said, "Stefano is dead and can never hurt us again." She's stupid. Hope said she didn't want whatever island Stefano had left to her or something to that effect. If he did give you an island, Hope, you should go live there and never come back. Sami hopes Stefano left them a bunch of money. Can you believe that? It's not like Shawn and Caroline are obligated to give her any. Salemites are total idiots. Why do these people automatically assume that, Stefano Dimera, the man that has loathed them for ages, has left them some wonderful material possession? Stefano wouldn't leave them money or anything like that. Whatever he leaves them, it's probably only going to make their lives worse. Craig could have given Brenda a raise. She told them about the security tapes of Zack and JT's birth being found. His response was "How about a bouquet of flowers instead?" Brenda deserves a raise with all the crap she has to put up with at that stupid hospital. I'm glad Jennifer didn't fall for Collin's crap. "You're the only woman for me and you're the reason I came back to Salem. Blah blah blah..." MY @$$! Philip told Shawn that Brady can love Chloe all he wants, she is HIS and Brady’s not getting her. Well, Philip. I think that's what's happening to you, buddy boy. You love Chloe to pieces and you still won't get her back. HAHAHAHAHA!!! Why did Roman call Kate? How stupid was that. "Billie, I'm going to tell your mommy on you." Yeah, Billie can't be a cop unless her mommy says it's okay. Why did Bo have a say in whether or not Billie could be a cop in his precinct? Since when is it his business what she does? I loved that tabloid headline. PSYCHO MOM SUES HOSPITAL OVER BABY SWITCH! Heehee! My thoughts exactly. Philip thinks he and Chloe are one person. I told you he was crazy. He said her sickness is affecting him too. Philip always finds away to make everything about himself. Chloe's sickness has nothing to do with you, you psycho idiot. You need therapy. Marlena was the one that told John he needed to get over his obsession with Tony because it's unhealthy. Now she says that his acceptance of Tony makes her uncomfortable. This is one of those damned if you do, damned if you don't situations. Marlena needs to make up her mind. BTW, If John is pretending to forgive Tony, then why isn't he pretending to forgive Lexie too? Maybe it is a good idea that Billie is on the force now. The Salem PD needs all the help it can get. Think about it. Are Roman, Bo, and Abe really getting anything done? Why did Billie salute Roman? That was stupid. Billie looks ridiculous in that oversized hat. I'm not going to comment on those lips.